cazdesigns

Lost Father

Dear Father I always wondered what it would of been like if we had know each other.

For years we drifted in and out of each others life not once one of us saying that we loved each other.

As i walked down the street with snow filled streets watching hearing laughter from children playing with their dads my heart would sadden

as i so wished that it was you and i.

Maybe i should of tried harder to get to know you to be a good daughter to you but maybe you should of as well.

I have never known what it feels like to have a fathers love and to pulled into there arms and held when sad.

I have never bulid a snowman or gone to the fair with you.

I have never heard you tell me that you love me

and that will always be be sad for me.

The last time i saw you father you were in tears you were at your youngest son furnel

Why was there tears is it because you never got to know what a wonderful son you had or was it the guilt that you nevr tried to be the person he should of been able to look up to.

You said of people to look after me not to hurt me

but you dear father was the one that hurt me the most .

you wasnt there for me i needed a father in my life but you were not there.

The last time i saw you was at your sons furneal with tears running down your face

you told me that you didnt want to be at another one of your kids furneals

That was the last time i saw you alive

for the next time it was your furneal your heart gave out.

I didnt know till you had been taken ill and was in hosptial as i was never told.

As they read out about you in your furneal i relised that i never knew you at all

I have nothing of you no memories ,no bonding of a daughter and father

Just a empty space in my heart of

regerts and sorrows

Of a lost father.