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To my Brother Alan
I awake to the sound of a ringing arisen from my dreams .I answer the phone i listen.
I hear that night that you were gone you had decided that this world was no longer for you.
Iam awake now in shock the birds are outside my window singing but there is so song in my heart.
As The days go by and i try to make sense of this all.
my heart is torn into two .I feel so much pain but i always feel so much guilt.
Could i have been the one to save you could i of hepled if i wasnt so wrapped up in my life that i had forgotton yours.
For 3 years i had not seen you not because i didnt love you or care for you as you were always on my mind.
that my life had turned around and moving away was the right step but i had had left you behind
and i will always reget that.
You were the brother that loved me that was always there for me when i needed you
where was i when you needed me.
I sit and remember all the good memories of our childhood the fun and games we played
of the times we played in the snow
as a tears fall from my eyes as i recalled the days of our lifes together.
You were depressed and in pain but you hid it well you didnt tell people the way you were feeling
I wish i could of been there for you and helped you though.
As we all we in the church and you were there in your coffin it felt so un real how can it be my brother in there
Now when i need you the most in my life right now you are not there for me
o why my dearest brother did you leave us all why leave me.
Every year every day of my life my heart breaks with the pain of you not here with me
Why did you do this , Why did you not think of the pain of the people you left behind,
Why did you not think that it would break my heart for you to go.
WHY WHY WHY
that is all that we will always think for the rest of our lifes
Dear brother they say you not get to sit by gods side but i say thats a lie
for god loves all
and you had a good heart but got lost on the way
till we meet again
I love you
Love from your sister Caroline
Author-Cazdesigns©2007
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